Friends that know I’m a wedding officiant in Taos often ask me about love. They assume I see love all around me and they’re right! Love comes through different couples in different ways. And I’ve been learning to recognize it through the looks I see exchanged, the words I hear exchanged during their intimate elopement ceremony (or any wedding ceremony, really) and the actions I observe.
Tears are often a strong indicator for me. Eight years ago, in my first blog, I wrote about tears. I’ve seen a lot of them. Fortunately only tears of joy – at least when I’m officiating! They indicate l-o-v-e and of course are sometimes exacerbated by stress or nervousness. I find it is more often the groom who gets emotional during an intimate elopement ceremony.
The only “problem” I have with tears is that occasionally they’re so genuine in the way they well up from a deep pool within a person that they become infectious. If I connect my words with the tears and drift into the emotions of the moment I can get a bit choked up myself. That’s not a bad thing, but can be a little awkward when I’m officiating. It has certainly happened when officiating for friends and family.
Often accompanying tears are looks of love so genuine, pure and almost desperate (in a good way) that I can see clear through the couple’s marriage in a flash. I know they’re going to make it and that they’ll have an incredible marriage.
Another manifestation of love I see is the physical connection. During an intimate elopement ceremony it is the couples that naturally join hands and remain that way through the ceremony that impress me. And the way they wipe tears or unabashedly show affection is deeply endearing.
A Statement Of Love
An option I give couples wanting to write their own vows (or anyone wanting to speak at their ceremony) is to prepare a Statement of Love. It’s an opportunity to say exactly what you’d like to say to one another. You don’t have to structure it as a vow or promise. I hear some very incredible things said during these statements. Sometimes they’re injected with humor. But most often they draw on a deep well of the couple’s experience. The combination of the words and the tears they generate by the speaker, let alone the listener, make for some powerful Looks of Love.
Being a wedding minister in Taos is an incredible gift. It is an honor to stand with a couple during their most intimate public moment. It is the time when they are choosing to affirm before their friends and family the love they feel for each other and their intention to spend the rest of their lives together. It is a role I consider a privilege and an honor. Please know that if you choose to work with me I will consider your mutual emotions as sacred and will be honoring them as I officiate your ceremony.